A Change of Heart and Mind

when presented with new information I reassess things

Ok. Breathe.

I’ve thought about it.

Over the course of these past few weeks since CD has been in jail, in court, and now, released pending appeal with a new lawyer I observed the players, read their thoughts and opinions, and observed what they saw as important. Observing others reminded me of some important things I’d lost track of. The sacredness of the court of law and it’s orders. The sacredness of medical privacy, in particular that of a child. I began to question the sincerity of one who appeals to a court he then demonstrates he does not respect. I began to question those who scream loudly they are for child safeguarding who then violate the gag order and publish the family name, thereby violating the privacy of the child at the centre of this BC family law case. I began to question needing to make this dad, this child, this family, the sacrificial offering to the cause of war—fighting the extremists who are bodysnatching children with their dishonest SOGI narrative.

How can obliterating a child’s life by splattering the child’s private matters across the reactionary right wing American internet be a part of a child safe guarding effort? The answer is, it’s clearly not. The answer is, violating a child’s privacy in that egregious way (a signed consent form posted at Mass Resistance with no redaction) is incompatible with child safeguarding. The answer is that was the action of someone driven by ego and ideology rather than sense and compassion and respect and the interests of that child or family. The answer is CD is the grown up and he could have sought an alternative, mature way to address the issues and he may have even achieved efficacy. He chose to embrace the extremists who gave him a voice and plastered his child’s very personal struggles all over the internet.

Think like a 15 year old for a moment. How would you feel reading that deeply personal stuff about yourself in The Federalist? Knowing your dad disclosed all that against your will? That’s a betrayal, even if you disagree that a 15 year old should not be embracing identifying as the opposite sex via cross hormones and social transitioning. It’s a gross and deep betrayal. You can be against child transitioning and school indoctrination and you can want accountability for Wallace Wong, and still believe that CD acted rashly and wrongly. This is a family law case and the interests of the child are the court’s primary concern. Privacy is no trifle, from a medico-legal standpoint. I have a nursing background and so I know about privacy. It’s quite sacred, ethically. He violated that by disclosing deeply personal things about the child’s emotional struggles. He disclosed his family name, another gross violation because it identifies the child, something the court document itself does not even do!

One only need click onto Mass Resistance to see what a vile hateful rag it is. Anti gay, anti trans, extreme right wing. And refusing to remove the consent form which has the child’s signature on it. That’s fairly low and mean spirited. It shows a complete disregard for the humanity of the child and blind circle jerking of an ideology of opposition. It is hateful.

The final straw for me, after having read the appeal court document and thought about things I read and saw, happened when I read CD’s description of Jenn Smith, who was among the few people helping him who genuinely cared and was not out to promote any agenda, and who helped him get this new lawyer, the lawyer who got him released.

All the information has come together to essentially tell me–when a person shows you who they are, believe them. CD has shown me who he is. I gave him the benefit of the doubt, that is my character and I acted in good faith believing a narrative that eventually crumbled under the weight of reality.

I cannot support CD anymore. He has acted in bad faith, embraced extremism, bitten the helping hand, and shown himself to harbour some bigotry. We all so eagerly wanted a case that would carry us to victory against SOGI extremism that we forgot this is real life and these are human beings, not pawns on a chess board. We so badly wanted a case that would be the Keira Bell moment, we were willing to disregard facts to make this the case.

I wish CD well in life, and I wish that family and child especially healing. However, other endeavours call me and I can oppose gender extremism in other ways, and I will choose to do that. Ego posturing and extremism exist on both sides of the gender debate, and many closet haters lurk about in the fight against gender extremism. I cannot cosign hatred and I cannot collaborate with it. Due process matters to me. Respect and rationality and looking at all the facts on hand before making a decision matter to me. I don’t wish to conduct myself like a reality tv show or some dramatic Sunday night movie of the week. This is real life, not a game.

Breathe.